yeah its happened again.. this is not the first time.. but i can't help but notice a difference in the way i seem to be looking at all prospectives related to 'my' desired significant other.. i don't really feel butterflies in my stomach when i look at her.. but i feel a massive pain in my -err never mind where- when i look at that snap of hers with 'her' desired counterpart.. and then the social elements bring us closer.. but every night.. she takes herself away from me.. or at least she tries.. i don't really know how successful she is at the whole we-are-not-meant-to-be thing.. but every time.. its like a new start.. i look into her eyes.. i blush for the first time in ages.. shes looks back.. and then she winks at me with a trace of humor in that beautiful smile of hers.. but i know its only a way to avoid the embarrassment she feels when she realizes that i am not the only one whose cheeks have turned a light shade or crimson.. its not like we wanted to look so deeply at each other.. situations and a certain person made us do that.. god bless them 'varied common interests'.. but i don't know if i can carry on with what i plan to do.. there is nothing much in this for me.. except for maybe a few months of pure happiness coupled with the privilege of being able to look at her and know shes mine.. all mine.. but i am scared.. i do not wish to hurt her.. i know i wont.. and yet i can't help but wonder why i am so reluctant on letting her know how blessed she makes me feel just by being a part of my little world.. maybe because i fear, that my love may not be accepted the way i want it to be.. maybe i am afraid to get hurt again.. its happened so many times.. that i don't seem to know what is true and what is not.. and thats why.. this once.. i shall hope for a fragile sign, a little indication i may receive from her end.. just a small something which would let me know that she really does want me to hold her by the waist and dance with her on the songs of everlasting faith that will reside inside of me till the day i can no longer give myself a single reason as to why i couldn't stop myself from falling so deeply in love with her.. even after knowing that it would never work out..