i don't know why.. but the following lyrics seem to hit me like a sudden wave of realization..
where did i go wrong, i lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
and i would have stayed up with you all night
had i known how to save a life.
-The fray_How To Save A Life
its not like i can relate to the words.. because they seem to be depicting the testing times in a relationship.. and i haven't really been in one for quite some time now.. then why do i have this feeling of guilt on hearing this song? is the verse targeting the memories of my past so that i handle the future with care and efficiency? or is it trying to make me realize that somewhere.. i seem to have committed a fault which i don't really consider as one? or is it just because i played 3 hrs of basketball in the evening and am too tired to think straight?
i am tired.. yea.. very tired..
i think i should go sleep now..
yea alright .. both of us(the one reading this & me) know better than to think that i would conclude so soon.. so here goes..
it rained today.. in the past.. the rain used to signify nothing but my desire to be with my special someone.. but today.. the only thing that it meant to me was that i would have to try and enjoy this beautiful sight alone.. i didn't even try.. i chose to close my eyes and wish for you to be there with me.. but i know.. that this is as far as it goes.. i could only dream of your presence and not really have it.. now i have totally lost track of what seems to be going on in your mind.. i guess you chose to let me keep wondering.. but then i have hope.. yeah the same hope that makes my heart want you even more when so seem to push me away..
you said the more i would pull.. the faster you would break.. not thinking once before saying it.. even after knowing that the only thing i want today.. is to be able to walk among the rain drops.. holding your hand.. i was reading this book called 'the alchemist' today.. the author has written about the way we all try to teach others how to live.. without even knowing where our own destiny lies.. but what if my destiny was you?.. and all i wanted from life.. was to be the guiding light that leads you to your destiny? i don't think even the author would have much to say to that.. or maybe he would..
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
yeah we both know where i have taken those words from.. but only one of us seems to have understood how deep a meaning has been conveyed through this one simple sentence.. all i want you to know is that i could have said this one line to you in a way so true.. that it would make you feel like i was the one who had written it..
i admit.. i have fallen in love with you..