friends.. the people who made me realize.. that i should not stop doing something i love just because my words failed to affect a person in a way that i wanted them to.. i thought that what i said did not even grace her.. but maybe my words just hit her harder than i expected them to.. but then i always go on telling people how friends are the most important and integral parts of our lives.. and yet i had decided to stop doing something i loved.. just because i was hurt by her.. totally forgetting .. that what i write gives my friends the strength and encouragement they need to overcome emotional obstacles in their lives.. that what comes from inside of me.. are the thoughts of millions of others who have not been able to express themselves..
ive see two of my friends fight.. and i know that out of these two.. the one who is hurt.. is the one who is capable of expressing herself.. but will not make the effort.. and the one who is at fault and willing to make the effort.. is not capable of expressing herself.. so i enter her mind.. see it as my own.. sense exactly what she wants to convey.. i type it down in words.. and send it to the one who is hurt.. minutes later.. they are talking.. they are friends again.. there is no sign of the anger that existed only moments before i made the effort to make things right.. this is where i realized how much my friends unknowingly need me.. and how hard it would be for some of them to live without a friend like me.. who can sense exactly what they seem to be feeling.. my clairsentience keeps me satisfied.. it keeps my friends happy.. thats all that seems to be of prime importance right now.. thats all that seems to make me smile.. more to myself than anyone else..
and now i know my motive in life.. it is not to try and get what i want from life.. but to try and get for my friends what life seems to be restricting them from.. and as i keep doing that.. god shall see my unselfishness and reward me with the thing i had been always wishing for.. true love..
because i ruined so many days of my life loving someone who was nothing more than a lie.. a lie to the world.. a lie to me.. a lie to herself.. and i have started to move on.. because i know.. that opportunity only knocks when your in your shower bathing or in your kitchen cooking.. and not when you seem to be standing right next to the door waiting for the bell to ring so you can grab it right then and there.. which means that we should not expect anything from life at a point when there seems to be hardly any difference between dreams and reality.. and all we should look forward to.. is the certainty that we will get what we truly desire.. provided we dont take things for granted..
attachment.. something that gives us a sense of security.. a feeling of belongingness.. and yet it curses us with possessiveness and jealousy.. which in turn leads to hatred and tyranny.. what we must learn to have.. is attachment without overboard demands.. when your with a special person.. you want everything to be just perfect.. and that sometimes makes us do too much of everything.. which in fact only makes a near immortal realationship.. slip closer to mortality..
"when a person shows faith in us.. we tend to go through rapid change in order to try and prove to them that we are different from the rest.. not realizing.. that the very reason we were chosen in the first place.. was not only because we were different.. but unique.."
so all that i really wanted to let you all know was this - "love life for what it has given you.. dont hate it for what it couldn't provide you with.. you are destined to get what you deserve.. but only when the time is right.. because the shadow proves the sunshine.."